The consideration of going to the gym, completing a trial training session there or signing a contract for a longer period of time is a step in the right direction . Many have already changed their diet and with a membership in the fitness studio want to burn additional calories , build muscles, increase endurance, take part in courses, do something good for their health or simply enjoy exercise again.
These are great and worthwhile goals that shouldn’t really stand in the way. If it weren’t for the fact that you’re not alone in the gym …
The fear of the looks of others
Disparaging looks, whispers, sometimes even open insults – Many overweight people experience every day how others bother with the obvious extra pounds. It hurts and sits deep, no matter how high the outer wall is. There are idiots everywhere, including in the gym. Likewise, there will always be people in whose upbringing neither respect, nor tolerance, nor acceptance towards their fellow human beings was conveyed. It’s a shame and sad, but it is a circumstance that we have to live with.
We cannot change other people. But we can influence what influence their behavior has on us. And above all: We can change ourselves!
What do the others think of me? How do I manage not to attract attention or be offensive? And how do I appear as positive as possible on others?
If you recognize yourself in these questions, you don’t have to worry. It is completely normal that we as human beings do not march through the world with blinkers, but look to the right and left. And of course we want to please.
Who does not want that? Positive feedback from our fellow human beings gives us recognition and security .
If you are someone who has little self-confidence and has had negative experiences in the past with scornful looks, stupid comments, hostility or even physical assault, the inhibition threshold is to expose yourself to the judgment of others in a noticeably uncomfortable situation the bigger.
Everyone started small: the bodybuilder, the hot fitness bee and everyone else whose body you might admire. Each of them took the first step at some point and did their thing. Why shouldn’t you succeed too?
That doesn’t mean that everyone has to train for the competition stage. The decision to go to the gym has different motivational backgrounds. You probably want to lose weight, pursue a healthier lifestyle, and support your diet through exercise.
Others go to the gym to distract themselves from everyday stress and clear their heads. While one wants to build up muscles for the next beach vacation, the other fights against “problem areas” that you might not even notice. One tries to solve his shoulder and back problems with specific exercises, while the member next to it has managed 5 km for the first time in under 30 minutes on the treadmill.
As you can see, everyone has their own plan to follow. So follow yours too!
Plus, you don’t even know what’s going on in other people . In the gym there will be members with great bodies who still feel uncomfortable in their skin. Looking lean and toned doesn’t automatically mean feeling content, confident, and happy. One is the outer shell, the inner core remains hidden from most of them.
You can tell that you are overweight. It makes you vulnerable. Still, nobody has the right to tell you how to look. Not every overweight person who goes to the gym wants to lose weight. And not everyone who wants to lose weight is overweight. There are numerous members with eating disorders, exercise addiction, and mental health problems that cannot be seen directly. Yet they are there.
You can’t look into people. Everyone has their own package to carry. Therefore, there is no reason to feel inferior and not go to the gym for fear of others.
Anyone who behaves condescendingly has completely different problems
You go to the gym to focus on yourself to work on yourself, to get better. Anyone who has time to pick on others in order to rise above them has not understood the point of training.
No sensible athlete in the gym will think “How can she / he dare to come here?” At the sight of an overweight or obese member, but “Hats off that she / he does something for himself “.
Personally, I don’t know anyone who points a finger at overweight people. And if I knew someone like that, I would wish I had never known them.
Members who have nothing better to do than gawk at, insult, or otherwise indicate to obese members that they have a “problem” with them will fail at the gym (or anywhere else) on the place. It shows no stable character to devalue others in order to upgrade yourself .
Instead of referring to you and asking you: “What am I doing wrong?” , “How do I stay inconspicuous?” or “Should I be at home stay? ”, you should rather ask yourself what must be going on in a person who is behaving so condescendingly.
The good news is, it’s not up to you. YOU are not the problem, even if it seems like you.
There is only one reason for a conscious devaluation and “putting it down” of others (preferably in such a way that they are also aware of it): The attacker’s personality image . There are people who like it when others feel small and bad because it makes them feel big and good. We meet such people everywhere, at work, out on the street and even in family circles. They can make life really difficult.
One could write entire books about possible causes for their behavior. Feelings of inferiority, lack of self-confidence, low self-confidence and a lack of empathy are certainly among the main causes. Some people take out their negative feelings (frustration, anger, anger, etc.) on those around them. An overweight person in the gym is often enough as an “opportunity”.
Negative reactions from others can create fear, insecurity and self-doubt . Those who cannot separate themselves from others and distance themselves internally tend to feel offended.
If you look at the matter very soberly, however, hardly anyone would choose a “put-down” as their best friend. We probably wouldn’t even want to count such people among the broadest circle of acquaintances.
So why should we postpone our personal goals, like training in the gym, because of these people? Give me an argument.
If you’re overweight and want to go to the gym regularly, this is great. It’s a step in the right direction and will bring you closer to your desired weight . There is absolutely no reason to sabotage your goal with negative mind games.
Certainly you cannot completely control situations and reactions from the outside. But what you don’t have in your own hands shouldn’t give you any reason to doubt.
Ask yourself: what is the alternative?
To give up your plan? Not going to the gym? And then? Do you train at home, which is likely to run in the sand? Or not doing the kind of training you feel like doing?
In Germany, 67% of men and 53% of women are overweight. 23% and 24% of them are even obese. Many of them do nothing at all to counter their excess weight. You are already a step ahead of them, after all, you have the motivation to go to the gym. Do not allow your inner drive to be slowed down by small or large stones.
Instead, skilfully drive around it.
Be brave and confident
When dealing with put-offs, difficult people and negative situations, one thing is very important: maintaining your own integrity .
The term “integrity” comes from the Latin word integritas and means something like “intact” , ” intact “, ” complete “. Integrity is a personality trait for which you are responsible. It will help you to stay clear and true to yourself inside. Integrity protects you against external attacks by not shaking you, but by deciding what you want to do and following your ideals / demands .
Remember that badging always takes two people: one who is bad and one who can be bad.
The influence of condescending looks and stupid comments on your thoughts and actions will always depend on your self-esteem.
How much are you worth to yourself?
If you are the Lord in your own realm , nothing will bring you down anytime soon.
Think about what you are missing out on if you allow other people’s opinions to limit your choices.
It may prevent you from going to the gym. The fact that you are feeling these fears and they are limiting you will leave you unhappy and insecure. You will doubt yourself even more.
Maybe you won’t be able to pull off your instant program on your own at home or outside. You will not get any closer to your goal, but will instead feel bad that you did not dare.
Over time, the hurdle to get yourself up to the gym gets higher and higher and the fears and doubts get bigger.
Don’t even step into this negative spiral . It leads down and not where you want to go – further and further up.
Work on your inner attitude and don’t make yourself small. Confident demeanor , a positive self-concept and a certain ease can be trained.
This is how you strengthen your self-confidence
If you take “self-awareness” literally, it means to be aware of yourself. It’s a kind of self-awareness that lets you understand your own personality. To build your self-esteem, you have to get active .
The following tips will help you:
- Improve your posture: Chest out, shoulders back, look ahead. A confident posture improves your body awareness and your charisma. Smiling too makes you feel happier. The sport will also have a positive effect on your body feeling, your fitness, your posture and your figure, which will also push your self-confidence.
- Look inside yourself: What are you particularly good at? What distinguishes you What challenges have you successfully mastered in the past? What could be behind your fears? The more you know about yourself, the better you will be able to deal with difficult situations.
- Don’t make yourself bad: Do you like to play judges and critics with yourself? Do you always find something that you absolutely don’t like about yourself? If you don’t want others to criticize you for no reason, you should start with yourself.
- Take care of yourself: Body and mind are not always a unit. Often times, we are not very careful with our bodies. We only have one. Learn to take responsibility for your body, do it good and take care of it – with a balanced diet, exercise and sufficient relaxation. Your soul life will also benefit from this.
- Leave your comfort zone: You grow with your tasks. Nothing will change if you continue as before. Face situations that make you uncomfortable. Feel free to set high goals and think big. Important: start and finish your project. So you will climb milestone by milestone.
- Be patient: Success and self-confidence don’t come overnight, but require continuous commitment. Every small step in the right direction counts. Don’t be overly strict with yourself if you’re not fulfilling your resolutions to the extent you planned. Shake off setbacks and just keep going.
Strengthening your self-esteem is the first step in order to feel valuable about yourself and to develop self-confidence and self-confidence .
Your courage will be rewarded
In the beginning it may certainly take a lot of courage and effort to go to the gym, although you feel uncomfortable in your skin and your self-confidence is at an expandable level. But the experience that you dared , had fun doing sports, felt great afterwards and got a little closer to your goal, will make you stronger and stronger.
Every beginning is difficult. But nobody said it would be easy. You have to go through there.
Be brave, overcome yourself, become more confident.
Dick to the gym? But yes! What else is it there for?
Would you be better off in the fast food restaurant? Wouldn’t people look there?
If you face unpleasant situations and achieve success in spite of all adversities, this will increasingly strengthen your self-confidence and your self-efficacy. The more often you dare and overcome your fears and fears, the easier it will be. Stay tuned and watch how your courage pays off in visible and, above all, noticeable successes – both physically and mentally.
You can make a difference, so grab your chance and get started.
Self-confidence and ease will help you to achieve your goals despite your inhibitions, e.g. going to the gym despite being overweight. Nevertheless, it cannot be ruled out with absolute certainty that your fears will come true and that your excess weight will be discussed through looks, gestures or words of other members. Arm yourself for such situations so that you can react promptly and prudently.
People who consciously and publicly attack you in any way in the gym, hope for a certain reaction. They want you to notice their hostility and rejection towards you and make you feel bad. By being intimidated, offended, and maybe even immediately packing your gym bag and driving home never to hit the gym again, you are helping them achieve their goal.
Ignore & distance yourself
Repartee is not for everyone. Sometimes you just can’t react to stupid sayings at the same time. The clever counterattack only occurs later and you get annoyed. Ignoring, i.e. deliberately overlooking, ignoring, disregarding, is an effective tool for dealing with insults – especially if they are mean and mean .
Remain completely neutral in your posture and facial expressions and just shake your head. Then distance yourself from the person / situation, also internally. Do not ponder her words. If you take things personally, the attacker will have hit the target – what was meant personally will also resonate with you. So try NOT to take it personally and just let it ricochet off you.
Rather feel sorry for yourself and remember the reasons behind it when people put others down in this way. You could almost feel sorry for them …
Go to confrontation
This move requires a little more courage and is also dependent on the character type. Even so, the is direct confrontation a way to surprise the attacker. Some only feel strong in a group. In truth, they themselves lack self-confidence, so that alone they would shy away from any confrontation. Others attack you with subtle gestures and looks that you should be aware of, but don’t expect you to confront them because they think you are in the weaker position.
Therefore: consciously seek confrontation without being loud or emotional.
Be factual and ask the person, for example, why they said that . And maybe in the presence of other members.
You will have to wait a long time for an objective, sensible answer.
Counter-act with humor
Stupid sayings require humorous counterattacks, paired with a pinch of self-irony . Especially when they are meant “funny” (but are not) or seemingly “casually” or “accidentally”. The right counterattack always depends on the situation and the type of attack. If it is particularly offensive, you can also bring out harder guns. Your answer should be appropriate to the situation. Never go down to the attacker’s level or insult him. Rather, try pun, surprise, or confusion .
If the put-down realizes that you are at peace with yourself and are above the situation, he will quickly notice that he is biting into granite on you.
Here are a few counter-slogans that can be used universally if someone should discuss your excess weight in a rude way without being asked:
- “Congratulations. You are the first to recognize that correctly. “
- “Was in the bulk phase.”
- “I won’t get anorexic, you’re right.”
- “Can you also say that backwards?”
- “Better bold than limited.”
- “You can get rid of fat, your character remains a construction site.”
- ” The saying doesn’t make you more beautiful either.”
- “Are you also intelligent?”
- “Sixpack looks different too.”
- “Are you afraid of strong women?”
- “Go outside. There’s the garbage can for you. ”
- “You are the best argument against genetic research.”
- “One brain cell less and you would be a plant.”
- “Go into the corner and play tree”
- “Tolerance – one can learn. Would suit you too. ”
How to get into fitness despite being overweight
Thin, fat, big, small – the gym is there for everyone . It cannot be ruled out that there will be a black sheep among the members. The majority of the members will either not notice you (because hopefully they have something better to do) or will think positively of you because you are not sitting around sitting around but taking action.
Think about how much you pay attention to other people when you exercise. Probably hardly, right? Most of them do.
Always remember that you are doing it for yourself and not for anyone else. Don’t worry so much about other people.
People are watched and blasphemed everywhere, whether overweight or not. So what?
Don’t look for excuses or excuses. Just do it – for you, your health, your well-being.
Here are some tips to get you started in the gym :
- Headphones in, heads out: Take your favorite motivational music with you to the gym and keep your good mood battery full.
- New outfit: Buy yourself a new sports outfit that you feel comfortable in and that you are happy to finally put on.
- Tasty food: Reward yourself with healthy food after training. E.g. tarpaulin in advance what you will cook for yourself later.
- Diet change: Support your regular training with a long-term diet change to achieve better results.
Also important: Make sure you do a trial training . Before you commit to a longer contract period, check whether you really feel comfortable in this gym. The clientele and the atmosphere can vary depending on the gym. In most modern, family-oriented fitness studios you will find a very mixed crowd, while very cheap studios mainly attract young people and other gyms focus on special areas such as bodybuilding, powerlifting or crossfit.
It is best to complete your trial training at the same time as you would otherwise train. See how full it is then and whether you have a good gut feeling . If you are unsure, you can also buy a 10-pass card to get started or choose a short contract period. It costs a little more, but you’ll be out again quickly if you should decide to go to another gym.
If you have the opportunity in your place of residence: Take a leisurely look at different studios and test yourself at different times of the day through. So you can directly compare the gyms, the equipment and the audience and weigh up where and at what time you like it best. For example, in most gyms it is comparatively empty in the morning, so you can train in peace and start the day feeling good.
Talk to the trainer about your problems and goals during the trial training. If they are good trainers, they will be at your side with words and deeds, give you a good, welcome feeling and encourage you in your project.
Don’t be afraid to do what you want in the gym. Nobody says that you are tied to a treadmill, cross trainer or ergometer. Take classes and go to the free weights area when you feel like it. Women in particular are often shy of the free weight area, because it is mainly men (including some posers) who stay here.
However, this shyness is usually unfounded, as passionate strength athletes and bodybuilders appreciate it when beginners dare to try their hand at iron. With overweight people the respect is all the higher. Anyone who plays the sport seriously and with love will never make fun of you. Only idiots do that. Passionate athletes will always appreciate your commitment and will respond helpful to questions.
If it takes a lot of effort to go to the gym alone, you can, for example, also take a friend with you . However, sooner or later you have to make it on your own. Your friend won’t always be by your side. Besides, it won’t change your inner attitude. And who says that you can’t make friends in the gym and make new friends? If you don’t go you will never find out.